Who knew Paperboy was based on real life?

While I teach my favorite course on Friday, I'm basically in the classroom prepping, teaching, or cleaning up all day long.  So, come 5:00 I was exceptionally happy to be able to head home (and also exceptionally wiped out).  Unfortunately, though, I didn't know that a video game was awaiting me on my street:

• As soon as I turned onto my street, I had to slam on the brakes thanks to two dog owners who were chatting while wrangling their large dogs into the open door of their SUV.  Said dogs were on leashes, but extended into the center of the road.
• After realizing that said dog owners weren't going to get their dogs into the SUV anytime soon, I moved into the opposite lane to drive past the dogs.
• Immediately after passing the dogs, a young teen on a bike rode out from between two cars in front of me, and slowly crossed the road.  
• Shortly thereafter a woman closed her car trunk while carrying a large bag of groceries.  Without looking, she crossed the street right in front of me.  (Sadly, there wasn't a baguette or bundle of celery sticking out of the grocery bag)
• After avoiding the woman (and now going extremely slowly), I noticed a squirrel a few yards ahead of me on the side of the road.  The squirrel darted out into the road as I approached.  Luckily the squirrel thought better of it and darted back.
• As I neared home, I saw a teenager on a skateboard riding down the sidewalk next to a child on a bike.  Said child was clearly just learning how to ride a bicycle.  The pair slowly wobbled forward, reaching our driveway just as I was ready to turn into it.

Amazingly, nothing happened when I parked.